Who is Notable?

How do we define value?  To what standard do we hold a person or someone’s ability and say, “Yes this has value.”  The oxford dictionary defines the word value as “the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.” We may be quick to say every human being has value but if we take a closer look at ourselves, our ideals, our hopes for our children…is there a point where we start to see some of our true thoughts and feelings about what and who are of real value? 

99balloons.org

Last week, I had the privilege to hang out with a group doing great work with children with disabilities and their families.  My observation of their work has caused me to assess my own ideas of real value and what kind of standards I place on others and myself.  Matt and Ginny Mooney created 99 Balloons in 2007 as an organization to support families with children of disabilities by helping to provide community and support through their monthly “rEcess” program.  rEcess is a time for families to bring their children with special needs (typically hosted by a church) where volunteers give one-on-one attention to the children through a variety of activities while giving their parents a night off.  These events become an avenue to build communities of support for families.

The name “99 Balloons” come out of their own story of their son, Eliot, who was diagnosed with a disease called Trisomy 18 and who lived only 99 days.  The capital “E” is rEcess is no mistake as it is a tribute to Eliot.  The Mooney’s chose to celebrate his life in many ways but one was by releasing 99 balloons at the day of his funeral.  They were blessed with a great community who surrounded them with love and support during the life and loss of Eliot and wanted to create that same support system for other families through the work of their organization. 

One of their global initiatives in Uganda was recently documented on film, called Notable, which was shown at a screening here in Washington last week.  It’s a difficult yet hopeful film to watch on the realities that persons with disabilities face in developing countries with little access to health care, equipment, support and acceptance.  I was particularly challenged by the idea of value or the lack of that communities in Uganda give to people with disabilities.  Simon, a Ugandan social worker said, “The only way they understand value is they relate persons with disabilities to normal people.  Oh he can’t ride that bicycle…he’s useless…. The truth of the matter is that some of these children, some of these persons might really never live to be so helpful. They might not be able to drive a car. They might not be able to even simply mop a house.  But then that doesn’t mean that they’re not valuable…. If you want to get value out of them then you have to appreciate them, love them for what they are and then you will be able to embrace them. To me, that’s value. And that takes what I always say, unconditional love.”

What struck me is this value system based on a person’s level of ability is not just limited to Uganda or to some developing country in Africa.  We in America also have a perspective of value that is defined by productivity and success.  Our country was grounded in productivity, hard work and achieving the American dream. We as Americans hope for our children to be successful and productive in their lives, which is not necessarily a bad thing.  But what happens when we are faced with circumstances and/or people who don’t have the ability to be productive? How do we define them?

Mama Moses and her boy

 Another story in the documentary was about a woman who called herself “Mama Moses” after her son Moses who has cerebral palsy (CP).  Her perspective and more significantly her unconditional love for him were overwhelming.  As she swung him around in her arms she said, “There are even some people that can look at Moses and say ‘He’s a CP. How can someone produce a kid like that? For me I pray to God that I don’t produce such a kid.’ No. For me I look at Moses as someone beautiful and special to me. I like his smile. I love it so much. So most of the time when we are there - laughing, playing…I like him so much. You see he can’t walk, he can’t sit but what he does I like. I like it. So he’s very beautiful to me. It’s God’s plan. It’s not a mistake. It’s not a mistake.” 

As my children grow, I hope to have the same perspective as Mama Moses…that I like and love them as they are and accept them fully without condition. This reminder of what real value is - is refreshing. 99 Balloons and others like them are helping to change the landscape of how people with disabilities and their families are cared for and as shown in Notable are viewed.  The documentary is worth watching and worth considering in how we view and help those with disabilities.  At the end of the film, Simon poses a challenging question, he asks, “Does God know that persons with disabilities exist? If the answer is yes what does he expect of us. What does he expect you to do?”

A Letter to Mr. Lego

My latest Flywheel Writing Assignment: Letter Writing

Dear Mr. Lego,

I have so many things to say to you it’s hard to know where to begin.  You’ve been putting out Legos for a long time now.   You’ve gone from a tub of colorful assortment of blocks to now entire cities with intricate tiny pieces.  I’m sure you started as a nice person just wanting to help little boys and little girls learn how to build and use their imaginations.  At what point did all of the accolades go to your head?  When did you start thinking…you know I can make Legos that have themes for movies and Legos that only go with each other so poor moms have to buy separate sets when a few pieces are lost?  We know you’ve made a lot of money doing this, haven’t you? It’s obvious with your flashy “Lego” stores and now your new “Lego Movie.” 

You want us to believe that you are family friendly kind of guy just making family friendly toys.  We know the truth and we know what your plan is.  You’ve sucked in the children.  We moms spend hours looking for that one “tiny” helmet that some tiny policeman Lego can’t live without.  We’ve been tired and our backs have hurt when we’ve looked through couches and under tables to find that tiny wheel that only goes with that one motorcycle. 

You have made Lego sets for babies, for toddlers, for girls, for boys and you’ve even sucked in our husbands.  You knew that these dads would be putty in your hands when you created Star Wars Lego sets that would take too much time and frustration to put together.

I want you to know there will be a day when us moms will get sick of it all and throw them all away.  Yes, every itty-bitty piece.  There will be crying and gnashing of teeth but we’ll do it anyway because were fed up.  We’re fed up with the pain of stepping on one of your “harmless” pieces in the middle of the night.  We’re tired of consoling little children when something goes missing.  We’re sick of it and a day is coming that Legos will be no more.  We hope you have a back up plan for another day job and if you don’t get ready because we moms are strong; we don’t give up easy and we’re ready to win our houses back.

Sincerely,

Mom’s Who Are Sick of the Piles of Toys

Anti-Lego League

A Nun, A Doctor, A Surgeon & An Ambassador

During this week leading up to International Women’s Day, here are a few heroines who are making a difference in the lives of women and girls around the world.

Sister Rosemary ofUganda

Sister Rosemary & Dr. Hamlin in Washington, DC

Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe from Gulu, Uganda is a gutsy, no-nonsense nun that works with women and children who have been abducted and brutalized by the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA).  The LRA it is a group of fighters led by a brutal leader, Joseph Kony. They have terrorized the Great Lakes Region of central Africa for over 20 years killing and abducting thousands of children and displacing over 400,000 people.

Sister Rosemary, however, is a beacon of hope and strength to hundreds of women and children who are rehabilitated at her school, St. Monica’s Girls’ Tailoring School. These girls, many who have become mothers, have been terrorized and abused by Joseph Kony’s LRA now are provided a safe haven and opportunities for a new life for the future. Sister Rosemary’s school is training them in life skills, tailoring, and making pop-top purses that are sold with the funds going back to the girls. 

Dr. Catherine Hamlin

Dr. Catherine Hamlin turned 90 this year. She is a woman who has given the vast majority of those years to the “least of these” in Ethiopia.  She has run the Hamlin Fistula Hospital for over 40 years.  The hospital is working to bring back dignity to women who have dealt with the devastating aftermath of days spent in labor without access to basic maternal health care who are left with an obstetric fistula.

An obstetric fistula occurs after prolonged and agonizing obstructed labor, forming a hole through which urine and/or feces pass uncontrollably. Women who develop fistula are often abandoned by their husbands and rejected by their communities. Most cases of obstructed labor result in a stillborn birth leaving the woman with a double sorrow of the death of her baby and this devastating condition.

Dr. Hamlin’s hospital not only treats women with fistula but gives them a new life – sending them home in a new dress, providing services for many of them to re-integrate back into their communities and giving them hope for a new future. 

Mamitu Geshe ofEthiopia

Mamitu featured in the Half the Sky Exhibit

Mamitu Geshe came to the Hamlin Fistula Hospital in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia 1962 because her labor had gone horribly wrong.  Mamitu came from a remote Ethiopian village and was married at the age of 14.  At the age of 16, she became pregnant and after four days of labor she eventually had a stillborn baby. Her bladder, rectum and birth canal had all been damaged from the agonizing days in labor.  After several operations that cured her in some of her injuries she was still left incontinent.  

The founders of the hospital, Dr. Reginald and Catherine Hamlin, saw great potential in Mamitu and took her on as a nurse aide.  She began changing bed linens and eventually started helping out during surgeries.  Mamitu was a natural leader and soon started routinely performing the entire fistula repair surgery herself.  Now Mamitu is one of the world's most experienced fistula surgeons and regularly trains other doctors around the world in fistula repair surgery.  Her story was featured in Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn’s bestselling book Half the Sky.

Dr. Inonge Mbikusita– Lewanika of Zambia

Dr. Inonge has led an incredibly full life.  The granddaughter of an African King, she has served as Ambassador to the U.S., Belgium, Netherlands, Luxemburg and the EU.  She was member of the Zambian Parliament and worked with UNICEF for ten years covering 42 African countries. In 2001, she ran for the Zambian Presidency and later ran for the Chairwoman of the African Union Commission.  She comes from a family of politicians – her father was the first President of the African National Congress of Zambia and her mother was the first woman in Zambia (Northern Rhodesia at the time) to register to vote.

Upon meeting Dr. Inonge you would never know of her long list of accomplishments or that she is of African royal blood.  Her life has been committed to improving the lives of women and children.  She’s led peace missions to Rwanda following the genocide, Burundi and the Horn of Africa working to include women in the peace process.  She has worked tirelessly to improve the lives of the poor and needy not only in Zambia but in many countries on the African continent.  In Washington Life Magazine she was noted as one of Washington’s most powerful diplomats and called the “Heroine of All African Women.”  In both character, commitment to Africa and its people, I would strongly agree that Inonge is indeed a heroine not only in Africa but for women around the world.

Check out Sister Rosemary's Documentary Sewing Hope:

If We Could Only Live at Downton

Flywheel Society Assignment #5: If there was one thing I could change…

I’m not ashamed to admit I am a British drama junkie.  Give me an English accent, a great love story, and tea with scones and I will feel better on any dreary day.  In college, while on my quest to figure out what in the world I would do with my life, I was surprised to realize I could actually earn a degree by reading and writing about great books.  Once I found myself crying while reading Homer’s Iliad, I quickly declared a major - English Literature!

On one of my first trips overseas, I had a layover in London.  I spent a rainy morning navigating the London “tube” and buses to get to the Tate Art Gallery to see William Blake’s Songs of Innocence illustrations and one of my favorites – John William Waterhouse’ painting of The Lady of Shallott.  It was glorious and almost felt like an accomplishment for a small town girl whose travels had only taken me as far as Kansas.  I ended up spending a few summers in London and saw as many plays, paintings, sculptures, architecture my tiny budget would allow.  But I digress…

One reason I love to read Jane Austen or watch a show like Downton Abbey is because it takes me to a beautiful place at a different time.  Sure they had war, disease, people were marginalized, and of course a lack of basic hygiene but lets just focus on the romantic aspects shall we?  At times I can get so wrapped up in it that I wish I had been born at a different time and especially that I would be raising my children at a different time.  A time where values were more clearly defined and innocence and purity were upheld virtues.  A time where life seemed slower and developing relationships seemed easier and more natural.

As a mother, I feel overwhelmed by just the daily tasks of raising children, working part-time and keeping a functional household.  There never seems to be enough time in the day.  I long for less traffic, shorter to-do lists and more time to just enjoy my kids and invest in relationships.  I especially hate being so far from family and only seeing them a few times a year.  We are so busy with work, activities, and I worry life will go by too quickly.  My son just turned 4 and I already get teary thinking of him going off to kindergarten.  Although I know my boys must grow up…my heart aches to think of their childhoods going by too quickly. 

I am also burdened to raise them in a society with incredible easy access to things like pornography and violence through such a small device like a cell phone. I cringe even at commercials and pray that our boys will defy statistics and their age of innocence will last longer than most.  So its not surprising that I look forward to Sunday nights when my beloved Crawley family comes to life on my television screen and swoops me away to a slower more innocent time in England. 

Even though my little addiction doesn’t seem too damaging, the temptation to escape the realities of our time and place in which we live is not necessarily a healthy one.   A friend and fabulous writer, Kate Harris, has challenged me in her writings about the idea of living with “constraints”…constraints of life, motherhood, relationships, time and place.  The most profound thing that I’ve taken from her is that these constraints are not just for us but were also true for Jesus, God Incarnate. She writes,

“In the Incarnation God shows us practically and tangibly that, like His incarnate self, we too are constrained by flesh as fertility concerns, children’s health concerns, ailing parents, and so forth readily remind us. Likewise, our incarnate God lived in a particular moment in history, “…when Quirinius was governor of Syria.” And this is a fact that brings comfort as we seek to navigate the challenges and opportunities of our own particular time, be it women’s increased access to education, advanced technology, ease of travel, or countless other variables.

In Christ, the God-man, we see the finitude of time and acknowledge that we too have to live out the fullness of our calling in the ordinariness of passing days as a carpenter, or student, or mother, or what have you…. And finally, the Incarnation bids us to remember that just as Bethlehem was a particular city with particular significance, and we likewise live our lives in the confines of a particular place.” - Constraint and Consent, Career and Motherhood

I must accept and surrender to my life in a fast-paced-traffic-bound Washington, D.C. suburb at a time where morals are increasingly based on personal preference rather than an absolute.  I must accept that I am in a season of life where laundry and to-do lists are endless and that it takes real effort to rid myself of the many distractions to slow down and focus more on relationships.  As I enjoy the stories of those long ago in picturesque England, I can be thankful that a God who experienced constraints of life, relationships, time and place has carefully ordained mine. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

A Rugged Road Through Childbirth

Flywheel Society: Assignment #4 Fiction

PHOTO: Joni Kabana

The rural Ethiopian countryside holds some of the most beautiful views rich with rolling hills, green acacia trees and traditional tukil huts with thatched roofs. Amara lived in the countryside and her story was full of both hope and pain.  Her name meant “unfading, eternal” and she had an unfading beauty about her.  She had brown eyes, braids in her hair, and a bright smile.  Every day, she spent hours carrying large jars of water back and forth from the well.  Her constant heavy load contributed to her petite frame. 

Amara was only 15 when it was decided for her to marry.  She knew this day was coming but it seemed to come too soon.  In so many ways she still felt like a girl and not quite ready to be a woman with the responsibilities of a wife and mother. But the decision had been made and she was to marry.  Soon after her wedding day, Amara became pregnant and she was full of anticipation to have her first baby.  When it came time to give birth, she was anxious and only had her mother and two sisters to comfort her.  Even though it was rarely talked about she knew there were dangers surrounding childbirth and she prayed, “God give me a healthy baby and that I can be strong during the delivery.” She lived way up in the mountains and a ride to the closest town was a long bus ride away.

She had labored for hours and felt like it was time to push.  It was in the middle of the night and Amara knew if something was wrong there would be no one to help until dawn.  She kept pushing and pushing but nothing was happening.  Her body felt almost numb from the pain and exhaustion.  When morning came she knew something wasn’t right and her sister ran to find someone in the village to help.  It was clear her only hope was to get down from the mountain to a small clinic.  Amara described her long grueling trip; “I finally made it to the bus which was over flowing with people.  It was hot and stuffy and I felt like I couldn’t breath.  As we made our way down the mountain, the pain became excruciating with every bounce along with rough road. The pressure was so intense and the pain almost made me black out.”  Her journey was overwhelming and felt like it would never end. 

When she finally made it to the clinic there were only two women to attend her and thankfully one was a trained birth attendant.  With sweat and tears soaking her face, she thought, “What is wrong? What is happening to me and my baby?”  When it was finally over her body exhausted from the pushing and the pain, they handed her a lifeless baby.  She looked and it was a boy.  He had a head full of dark hair and a tiny little nose.  Amara cried, “My heart was aching and I wondered if this was a curse from God?”  She was told that her body was just too small to deliver a full term baby and he had died from all the pressure from long hours of labor and pushing. 

            “What will this mean for my family…will I ever be able to have children?” Amara thought. She worried how her family and especially her husband would receive her if she couldn’t have children.  She had heard of those barren women who never bore children and she wondered if she would be one of them.  There were no immediate answers but she returned back to her village with the hope that one day there would be more babies to come. 

 

PHOTO: Joni Kabana

Ethiopia is a captivating country rich in culture and beauty yet like many developing countries, they are still lacking in essential things like access to quality health care and adequate roads to get to them.  In Ethiopia, one in five girls marry before the age of 15.  Each year, 20,000 women die in childbirth and 77 babies out of 1,000 live births don’t survive.  In addition, only 6% of women give birth with a skilled health professional.  Giving birth can be a frightening experience for any woman but in a country with very few health care centers and even scarcer doctors to go around the hope for an easy delivery becomes more of desperation than just a wish.