Tuesday, February 18, 2014

If We Could Only Live at Downton

Flywheel Society Assignment #5: If there was one thing I could change…

I’m not ashamed to admit I am a British drama junkie.  Give me an English accent, a great love story, and tea with scones and I will feel better on any dreary day.  In college, while on my quest to figure out what in the world I would do with my life, I was surprised to realize I could actually earn a degree by reading and writing about great books.  Once I found myself crying while reading Homer’s Iliad, I quickly declared a major - English Literature!

On one of my first trips overseas, I had a layover in London.  I spent a rainy morning navigating the London “tube” and buses to get to the Tate Art Gallery to see William Blake’s Songs of Innocence illustrations and one of my favorites – John William Waterhouse’ painting of The Lady of Shallott.  It was glorious and almost felt like an accomplishment for a small town girl whose travels had only taken me as far as Kansas.  I ended up spending a few summers in London and saw as many plays, paintings, sculptures, architecture my tiny budget would allow.  But I digress…

One reason I love to read Jane Austen or watch a show like Downton Abbey is because it takes me to a beautiful place at a different time.  Sure they had war, disease, people were marginalized, and of course a lack of basic hygiene but lets just focus on the romantic aspects shall we?  At times I can get so wrapped up in it that I wish I had been born at a different time and especially that I would be raising my children at a different time.  A time where values were more clearly defined and innocence and purity were upheld virtues.  A time where life seemed slower and developing relationships seemed easier and more natural.

As a mother, I feel overwhelmed by just the daily tasks of raising children, working part-time and keeping a functional household.  There never seems to be enough time in the day.  I long for less traffic, shorter to-do lists and more time to just enjoy my kids and invest in relationships.  I especially hate being so far from family and only seeing them a few times a year.  We are so busy with work, activities, and I worry life will go by too quickly.  My son just turned 4 and I already get teary thinking of him going off to kindergarten.  Although I know my boys must grow up…my heart aches to think of their childhoods going by too quickly. 

I am also burdened to raise them in a society with incredible easy access to things like pornography and violence through such a small device like a cell phone. I cringe even at commercials and pray that our boys will defy statistics and their age of innocence will last longer than most.  So its not surprising that I look forward to Sunday nights when my beloved Crawley family comes to life on my television screen and swoops me away to a slower more innocent time in England. 

Even though my little addiction doesn’t seem too damaging, the temptation to escape the realities of our time and place in which we live is not necessarily a healthy one.   A friend and fabulous writer, Kate Harris, has challenged me in her writings about the idea of living with “constraints”…constraints of life, motherhood, relationships, time and place.  The most profound thing that I’ve taken from her is that these constraints are not just for us but were also true for Jesus, God Incarnate. She writes,

In the Incarnation God shows us practically and tangibly that, like His incarnate self, we too are constrained by flesh as fertility concerns, children’s health concerns, ailing parents, and so forth readily remind us. Likewise, our incarnate God lived in a particular moment in history, “…when Quirinius was governor of Syria.” And this is a fact that brings comfort as we seek to navigate the challenges and opportunities of our own particular time, be it women’s increased access to education, advanced technology, ease of travel, or countless other variables.

In Christ, the God-man, we see the finitude of time and acknowledge that we too have to live out the fullness of our calling in the ordinariness of passing days as a carpenter, or student, or mother, or what have you…. And finally, the Incarnation bids us to remember that just as Bethlehem was a particular city with particular significance, and we likewise live our lives in the confines of a particular place.” - Constraint and Consent, Career and Motherhood

I must accept and surrender to my life in a fast-paced-traffic-bound Washington, D.C. suburb at a time where morals are increasingly based on personal preference rather than an absolute.  I must accept that I am in a season of life where laundry and to-do lists are endless and that it takes real effort to rid myself of the many distractions to slow down and focus more on relationships.  As I enjoy the stories of those long ago in picturesque England, I can be thankful that a God who experienced constraints of life, relationships, time and place has carefully ordained mine. 


For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

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